Janette and Rufus Harris first became friends with the Smiths – Janet, Stan, David and Michael - when they all lived in Germany in the very early 1950s. Michael was only 4 years old. He doesn’t remember a great deal of this time but he believes he has seen a photograph of his older brother, David, and Sarah Owen (Harris) playing together. It was during this stint in Germany that both the Harris and Smith families became friends with an Australian, Ron Adair.
We believe that Stan and Janet Smith, Janette and Rufus, and Ron and Pam Adair stayed in touch for the rest of their lives.
In 1953 Stan, Janet, David and Michael Smith, with Stan’s widowed mother, emigrated to Sydney Australia. Michael turned 6 on the boat on the way over. They remained in Australia, although they had some extended visits back to England and David completed most of his education in the UK.
David married Celia Newcomb (they parted some years ago) and they had 2 daughters Charlotte who was born in 1979, and Rhianon who was born in 1981 (Rhianon tragically died in 2010).
The first Janet Smith was a wonderful, warm hospitable person who made a good life in Australia, although she always missed her parents back in England. She embraced her sons’ friends, especially the expats from all over the world, and created a sense of family for many of them. We all felt her loss deeply when she died in July 1984. Stan was so lost without her.
We believe that in late 1985 Janette, who was also recently widowed, came to Australia for a holiday (probably with Ron and Pam Adair, who she was very fond of). Stan, spent some time with them during that summer and, decided to visit Janette during the northern summer of 1986.
Stan returned to Australia later that year but went back to England the following summer, 1987. Michael and I took a long holiday that year, which included England and Wales, Paris and the USA and Canada. We became engaged in Hawaii on the way home.
I met Janette for the first time on a sparkling summer’s day in June 1987 at a lovely lunch at the home of Roger and Rosemary Parker, in Chalfont St Peter. (Roger was David and Michael’s second cousin). We remember the day very well. The weather was beautiful and the company, food and wine were terrific. The thing that stands out in my mind is - after a lovely meal, when every other adult was sprawled in armchairs in the shade – Janette was in the middle of the lawn playing badminton with the children. It is an enduring memory that speaks to Janette’s great affinity with children and young people. On so many occasions, after that, we observed her involved in a long, thoughtful conversation or game with whichever children she was with.
Another memory, from that same week, was my first meal at Oakwood Road. Janette offered to cook us either salmon or beef. I opted for salmon and will remember that meal forever. Janette poached a whole wild salmon from Scotland and served it cold with a mayonnaise and cucumber salad. It was one of the most delicious meals I’ve ever eaten.
Michael and I were married in November 1987 (making me the second Janet Smith), and we were thrilled to have Janette with us. Stan was happy and proud to have such a lovely companion with him on our special day. From that time on, we would see Janette every Australian summer and Stan visited her each winter. They had a wonderful friendship and relished their time together, whilst maintaining their own homes and lives during the long periods apart. Janette accompanied Stan on many business trips and they took several touring holidays. Stan saw more of Australia and the UK in those years than he had ever done previously. From the album of photos that Janette compiled of their holidays together, we were reminded that they also travelled to Sweden, Spain, America and Canada together.
Janette was a wonderful support to David and Celia and would always organise special holiday outings and school functions for Charlotte and Rhianon to enjoy with her and Stan.
As our children arrived – Edward in 1988 and Alexander in 1990 – Janette was always the kindest, least judgemental, gentle and wise surrogate grandmother and mother-in-law we could have dreamt of. We all loved her dearly. She was with us when Stan died in November, 1994 and stayed on to share that Christmas with us. After that we believe she only came to Australia once or twice more. We visited her in England in 1996 before our daughter Victoria was born in that October. Our boys had a wonderful time with her. She accompanied us on a lovely trip to Cambridge and visited friends on Wimbledon Common with us. We stayed several nights in Oakwood Rd and met up with Sarah, Sian and Beth.
We particularly remember Janette’s visit to Australia in 2001 while Victoria was still a pre-schooler. Because Janet(te) was a common name in our family, whenever we spoke of your Janette we would refer to ‘Janette Harris’. Victoria decided that her name was just one long word and always called her Janetteharris, Janette loved the joke and always responded to Victoriasmith! They really had fun and we did lots of child based things that holiday, because Janette was never too old for any childlike activities.
Michael continued to visit Janette every few years for the rest of her life (staying in her guest flat on several occasions) and, each time he did, they would treat themselves to a night out at the theatre. His last visit was in 2015. Our family of 5 spent time with her when we had our big holiday to the UK and Europe in 2011. By then our children were teenagers or adults but they quickly slipped back into their warm affinity with Janette. We had a particularly lovely day with her at the British Museum and a wonderful birthday lunch at Kenwood.
I think because, in our eyes, Janette was so ageless and full of life we always thought we’d get one last visit with her, sadly we left it too late. We always loved her and will never forget what she did for our family - her affection for Stan and her warmth and kindness with us. She was a wonderful friend and we feel so lucky (and it was luck) to have had her in our lives.
As a final note, I want to add that I found Janette inspiring. She had a love and a lust for learning – it was infectious and she encouraged me towards the same love of lifelong learning. Since we learned of her death, I have been scouring websites to decide which courses I will take on in 2018 as a small personal tribute to her.
We will be thinking of all of you tomorrow as you say your final goodbyes to this exceptional woman. We send our love to all.
Janet and Michael Smith
Sunday 7th January 2018